Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
