I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize