And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
