bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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