This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
