i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
