Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
