My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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