i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
