you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
