i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
