I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
