I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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