You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
