Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
