The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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