He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
