operation have a gay friend backfired
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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