Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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