im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
