So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
