This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
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I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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