Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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