Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
