I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
