I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
