I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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