Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
