i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have already put on my inside pants.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
