I wish I could punch you in the face.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
