were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
