y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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