$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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