Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
