she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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