I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
