my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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