In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
