What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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