Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wish there were birth control emojis
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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