You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
