I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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