Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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