Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is

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  (321): Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is http://tfl.nu/m53n
  Replies (87) Good night (627) Bad night (4654)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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  (630): Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.. http://tfl.nu/pq67
  Replies (7) Good night (4002) Bad night (1679)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.

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  (217): i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan. http://tfl.nu/dige
  Replies (5) Good night (4175) Bad night (1755)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"

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  (208): They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!" http://tfl.nu/fyfv
  Replies (10) Good night (1692) Bad night (3449)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.

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  (717): It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point. http://tfl.nu/8d6y
  Replies (8) Good night (3491) Bad night (848)
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  (213): View more from California

  putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had

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  (213): putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had http://tfl.nu/a4wf
  Replies (2) Good night (1466) Bad night (731)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone

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  (647): Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone http://tfl.nu/g67v
  Replies (8) Good night (2505) Bad night (692)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  no drinking for a week

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes

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  (512): no drinking for a week (1-512): if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes http://tfl.nu/kuw5
  Replies (4) Good night (2689) Bad night (601)
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  (949): View more from California

  I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's like the whiskey god was watching over you

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  (949): I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id. (702): It's like the whiskey god was watching over you http://tfl.nu/wgp4
  Replies (7) Good night (3338) Bad night (604)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.

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  (206): But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness. http://tfl.nu/0ech
  Replies (15) Good night (2966) Bad night (455)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco

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  (920): I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco http://tfl.nu/0jwt
  Replies (5) Good night (777) Bad night (654)
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  (315): View more from New York

  HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!

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  (315): HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT! http://tfl.nu/pd33
  Replies (13) Good night (435) Bad night (994)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now

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  (609): I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now http://tfl.nu/txwa
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (251)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.

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  (717): Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about. http://tfl.nu/g2cn
  Replies (5) Good night (353) Bad night (274)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.

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  (641): I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor. http://tfl.nu/67h2
  Replies (6) Good night (388) Bad night (312)

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