Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  we need a boat to join in

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva

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  (248): The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!! (1-248): we need a boat to join in (248): Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva http://tfl.nu/6n2t
  Replies (3) Good night (1296) Bad night (565)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Remember that time you hooked up with him?

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  (908): Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit? (617) Remember that time you hooked up with him? http://tfl.nu/yz0c
  Replies (7) Good night (754) Bad night (1439)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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  (303): You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you. http://tfl.nu/620d
  Replies (20) Good night (5747) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"

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  (386): he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor" http://tfl.nu/h9m9
  Replies (26) Good night (1313) Bad night (5501)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed

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  (765): She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed http://tfl.nu/bbsg
  Replies (18) Good night (1871) Bad night (4134)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.

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  (214): I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room. http://tfl.nu/9wgv
  Replies (7) Good night (4348) Bad night (972)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again

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  (708): if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again http://tfl.nu/p1ce
  Replies (14) Good night (7165) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha

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  (618): I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha http://tfl.nu/vgio
  Replies (9) Good night (2488) Bad night (667)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"

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  (216): I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely" http://tfl.nu/sd7p
  Replies (27) Good night (1398) Bad night (3601)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.

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  (320): Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house. http://tfl.nu/jt6d
  Replies (10) Good night (1575) Bad night (611)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life

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  (412): But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life http://tfl.nu/sdyc
  Replies (5) Good night (1145) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming

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  (715): Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming http://tfl.nu/sgtd
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?

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  (718): GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators? http://tfl.nu/ewjm
  Replies (6) Good night (719) Bad night (307)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.

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  (508): It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming. http://tfl.nu/nix9
  Replies (7) Good night (264) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing

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  (518): The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing http://tfl.nu/1ex1
  Replies (3) Good night (802) Bad night (303)

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