Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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