Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
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She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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