i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My feet surprised me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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