he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
