Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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