I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
