fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
