i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
