I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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