I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
