Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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