ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
