I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
