Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
