We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
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this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
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I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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